Taking the Bad with the Good and Loving through It All

Some rights reserved by Avital Pinnick

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." So begins Charles Dickens' classic The Tale of Two Cities. It could also have been the tagline for this week. It was a week in which a flare spontaneously ignited in the trunk of my son's car causing a small fire ... but, it was also the week in which I got cast for a role in The Laramie Project, a play that I desperately wanted to be in. It was a week in which we got some very disappointing news regarding a work situation ... but, it was also the week when both my husband and I had some very enlightening self-discoveries. In other words, like many weeks that all of us have ... it was filled with the good and the bad.

I think that somewhere along the line, many of us learn to think of the good stuff as somehow earned or merited. Conversely, the negative stuff is seen as some sort of punishment or deserved suffering. But that's kind of silly when you think about it because sometimes the bad stuff is what leads the good stuff or makes it possible, at least. And, in other cases, something that seemed like "the good stuff" several weeks ago, turns out to be not so good at all once we've lived into it.

More and more, I think that I am beginning to figure out that our lives are full of "stuff" and whether it is perceived as being "good" or "bad, the "best of times" or "the worst" depends upon context, the people involved, our own feelings and/or disposition at the time, and a host of other variables over which we have little to no control. The one thing I can control, however, is my reaction ... my response to the stuff.

Over the past several weeks, I have tried to be much more intentional about taking time during my day to mentally step back and just breathe (both physically and mentally). Whether it's in 5, 10, or 20 minute snippets ... just taking a break to reflect upon who I am and where I am in my life has helped me to put both the stuff that I perceive as great, the stuff that I perceive as horrid, and all the stuff in between into perspective.

So ... those are my words of wisdom for today: Remember to breathe. It's helpful in the best of times. It's helpful in the worst of times.

Remembering to Breathe

So, in an effort to follow my blog, one of my friends messaged me to let me know that although she had signed up to receive emails of the blog ... there was no way to comment on the blog directly from the email. I told her I'd look into it ... which consisted of me looking at the email she had received and concurring that it did appear that there was, in fact, no way to comment via email. The title of the blog post was, however, highlighted in the email and it turned out that by clicking on the title she was taken directly to my blog and could scroll down to the comments section and comment away to her heart's delight.

She noted to me that sometimes things, like figuring out how to comment on blogs via email, are complicated and that it wasn't just me making it difficult (See New Beginnings). She is right, of course, some things in life don't get simpler just because we wish that they weren't so complicated. That having been said, I also know that I tend to stress over much when those difficulties arise.

So, perhaps I need to clarify my goals when it comes to realizing that ala the title of this blog, "it could be that simple." It's not that I have deluded myself into believing that some aspects of life aren't complicated, because, let's face it ... they are. It's that maybe I don't have to sweat the small stuff. And, even when it's bigger than small ... maybe, just maybe, I can find ways to keep everything in perspective, so that the big stuff doesn't become too overwhelming. One of those perspective-maintaining behaviors has been, for me, remembering to breathe.

Yes, I am aware that breathing is an involuntary action. And, yes, I am also aware that it is not normally something that one has to be reminded about. But I have found that when things start to overwhelm me, I don't breathe -- or, at least, not normally. By reminding myself to breathe, I can take a step back from everything that is going on, focus on my breathing and not on the stressful situation, and regain some balance ... at least to my breathing, if not in reality. If nothing else, I've at least had the chance to take some cleansing breaths, clear my head, and start anew.

It's a start ... this remembering to breathe business. But, I'm finding that when I remember to breathe, things go a whole lot better than when I forget.