Putting Things in a Safe Place

Some rights reserved by michaelstyne

I had one of those mornings last week. You may know the kind. It was one of those mornings where I woke up kind of crabby, not feeling great, a little on edge, and proceeded to treat the people I love the most like crap. Of course the realization that this was occurring did not help because once I realized it was going on, not only did I feel crabby and edgy, but I also hated myself for being crabby, edgy, and a bit of a snit.

Later, when I tried to apologize, I was assured that it was okay and reminded that, after all, if I couldn't be crabby and edgy with the people whom I love and who, presumably love me, where would I be safe in doing it? It's a tricky balancing act, I think. And, I think that part of what was so difficult about the morning for me was that instead of realizing that home is a safe place where all of the not so pleasant parts of me can find a safe haven, I instead wanted to look at the crazy woman who was griping at her son and husband over really petty stuff, as someone other than me. The real me would have been in control of her emotions, the real me would be kind and loving even when feeling stressed out, the real me would have been better than that woman ... so clearly, this was some sort of an impostor standing in my kitchen.

I've thought a lot about the ensuing conversation over the past few days ... about how being at home and with the people we love should provide a haven for us not only when we're at our very best, but also when we are at our very worst. And, I'm thinking that what the love of home and family has actually done for me ... you know, after nearly 50 years of living, because sometimes I am that slow ... is to provide a safe place where I can acknowledge that the evil impostor who sometimes invades my skin ... she's just as much a part of the real me as the bubbly, encouraging, carefree me that I enjoy a whole lot more. I don't think any of us wants evil-me to hang around all the time ... but, I'm thinking that maybe, if my family can love her and provide a safe haven for her ... well, then I just might be able to as well.

This Is My Story

The company that I work for declared this past week to be Communications Awareness Week. Because the majority of our employees work in a virtual environment, it is very important that we all utilize the communication tools that we have available to us in the best and most effective ways possible. To help in achieving that goal, we took a communications quiz that was supposed to help us to understand our own communication styles. The results were supposed to tell you whether you are an assertor, a demonstrator, a contemplator, or a narrator. Following the quiz, we then watched a video that described the various styles, the benefits and possible negatives of each, and which communication tools each style tended to utilize best (i.e., email, Skype, Google+ Hangouts, recorded presentations, one-on-one phone calls, etc.).

My own results were actually not much of a surprise to me. I scored incredibly high in the narrator style. According to the breakdown we were given, narrators tend towards relationship building over other goals and are often emotionally intuitive. Process is usually valued over end results. The part of the analysis that made me chuckle a bit was the types of professions to which narrators tend to be drawn, including teacher, counselor, minister, and human resources. Hmmmm. That would be consistent with someone I know.

The eerie accuracy of the simple 12-question quiz notwithstanding, the activity got me reflecting on the process of narration, of story-telling, and why I find it so incredibly vital. The upshot for me, as a believer, is the fact that G-d is the quintessential story-teller. If we are truly created in G-d's image, then we too, are meant to tell stories. But, like G-d, we are more than just story-tellers, because similar to the Word that G-d speaks, the stories that we tell have power -- the power to create, to make true, to bring reconciliation, to be life-giving.

Some rights reserved by Stephen Rees

As both the characters in and the co-authors of our own stories, we are in the incredible position of simultaneously discovering the plot line as it unfolds, and helping to fashion the next chapter. Will it entail adventure, mystery, comedy, high-stakes drama? Will we be the protagonist or the antagonist of the tale? What truths will we discover and what truths will we reveal to others, if any?

The fact is, regardless of our own individual communication styles, all of us are caught up in this incredible narrative called life. Though the setting, other characters, and maybe even part of the plot might seem to have been set for us ahead of time, we still have a huge role in determining twists in the storyline, subplots, and even surprise endings. We can be the hero or the villain. Our story can be a cliff-hanger, a romance, or even a comic book.

What story will you tell?